Until Next Time

Hello Compassionate's, How are you? I hope you are well.

I was working on another blog, Happy July when I got some bad news today, a friend of mine has passed away. It was sudden and I don't know the details of how he died, I am not sure when he died. I haven't been about to find out to many details but right now I am in shock, I saw him not to long ago at a Peace Rally, June 25th I think he seemed in good health and good spirits, but with this heat wave anything is possible.

I remember meeting him at Living Rock, they run a shelter and other programs for troubled youth I wasn't really a troubled youth when I was referred to the TriRock program which was designed to help youth find employment, I wasn't on set as much as I would have liked to be as a back ground performer, other wise known as a movie extra, I...(tears, Deep breathe) was at risk, I had a good head on my shoulder's, hard working and wanting to stand on my own two feet, my grandparents where alive and all I needed to do was ask, but I wanted to try on my own first, so I signed up for TriRock program to see if I could get a full time job and not be on call as a extra, when called the money was good, but I wasn't getting called enough, I started to feel the pressure of when I had money I paid everything, even my roommates share of things.

I am in shock, Paul was a very friendly person who made feel like you fit in. I felt like a fish out of water in a program where the truth was I wasn't hurting as much as any one else, I won't share to many details of the room mate but I will say when I had money it covered everything not just my share, I may have mentioned that already but I went to the program stressed out, I was at risk not troubled in the same way as other's, I wasn't a run a way, or homeless because of being kicked out by family and I had no jail time or addiction issues, but they did let me into the program to get more work experience.

The program had you put in hours in the kitchen, making dinner for the shelter's dinner, I didn't live in the shelter or use the food program so I didn't really know any one else there, a few times I did use their food bank, any way I got mad didn't blow up or anything just stressed out that some of the youth working in the kitchen kept eating the food we were making, I was mainly on desserts, all my cooking with grandma was paying off some what, they kept saying they were so good they couldn't help it, I know they were hungry so I didn't say anything, but if this was to be a job we had to follow rules and I didn't want to get in trouble or cause any trouble.

TriRock didn't pay, it logged your hours, I forget at what point I was able to reach enough hours them to help me with creating a resume and get me a bus pass, for time in the kitchen and job hunting, at this time there wasn't many job youth programs out there, I felt a bit guilty to be in this program when I wasn't a troubled youth but grateful at the same time, after all I was reaching adulthood and wanted to prove not only to other's but myself that I could stand on my own two feet, again sorry if I already mentioned that, so there I was doing my hours in the kitchen with all these other youth eating most of what we were making and I was freaking out, thinking to myself I am going to get blamed, their going to think I am not doing my job, I will end up homeless if I can't get employment, I'll suffer the wrath of the roommate with anger issues, I was on edge maybe about to meltdown and in walks Paul otherwise known as HumbleRock, I wasn't saying anything I was freaking out in the inside of my head and he must have picked up on it, also knew I was pretty much new to the program, but like I said he turned into my stress and asked if I could use some help, I said yes that I had to make more cookies everyone keeps eating them and they are for the dinner program.

Paul was easy to talk to and ended up talking to the staff about if it, he asked if anyone would get in trouble, and that many working with food get hungry and start snacking, his fave part of baking was sampling, the staff had me come to the office and asked me why I didn't come to them myself, so together in the office I explained my feelings, I know there are more troubled youth then I that needed the program and other services more and I didn't want to risk anyone getting in trouble, I just wanted this program to be able to stand on my own 2 feet and hold what I did have together, the staff decided to have nibbles during the kitchen time apart from the meal so no one would stress out any more, it turned out I wasn't the only one feeling stressed out about it.

Paul and I became friends, I helped with a few of his fundraisier's for the Living Rock, I think I will add a collection to help living rock in memory and honour of HumbleRock. He was a DJ so I will remember him when it thunder's that Jesus has him rocking the cloud. I will find something that fit's his memory.

I admit I didn't see him a lot but it still hurts to hear he is gone, I am in shock. I mean he was around my age, every death I ask every one to please share compassion, after all it is meant to be shared and does make the world a better place.

Perfectiffic Pauly not sure how he spelled it, but He may have made up the word but to him it meant perfectly loved by God.

So my dear Compassionate's if you are a friend of faith may I take this time to ask you to pray not just for Paul's family and friends but everyone who is at risk in this heat wave, and in Paul's memory all the street youth and if so moved volunteer at a program to feed other's, if in Hamilton please donate or volunteer with Living Rock, or Helping Hands Street Mission. 

I really hope that I can see my family for my cousins wedding, I have had many deaths of community members I volunteered with and I just want to be able to see them all at a happy event and not a memorial. 

Compassionate's I am having a hard time writing this, I may have said I was working on another blog when I got the news then started this one, simple truth I needed to do something to honour him.

I will find a fitting Collection to create a ongoing fundraiser for the 2 causes he worked with so they don't end up with to big of a void, I have seen the threads on my facebook newsfeeds of how many are going to miss him and how he had a good impact in their lives and I hope I make that kind of impact, where people feel blessed for knowing you, cherish that they had a chance to know you, a author friend of mine once shared that you should think of how you want to be remembered and live that way, that's what I am doing.

Here's to all of us who plant seeds of friendship, of compassion and peace, may they blossom into a beautiful harvest of cherished memories, friendships and a legacy of Love. Be Blessed and stay safe and have a Compassionate evening. Peace to you.

 You will not be Forgot Paul. Rest In Peace my friend, until we meet again in Heaven. Don't know what you were thinking in this photo but it is my fave.


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